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Matt & Craig's Chunk Toast

The ancient art of cut downs has been around for millions of years.  It has always proved to be an efficient and intelligent way to settle disputes.  Every once in a while, some cut downs just don't work.  Here are some you should never use:

1. You're so ugly, you make the hunchback of Notre Dame roll over in his grave.

2. You're so poor, I saw you rolling around in the grass amd when I asked you what you were doing you said that you were taking a bath.

3. You're so poor I saw you vacuuming a trash can and when I asked you what you were doing you said that you were vacuuming your house.

4. You're so poor I saw you sleeping in a card board box.

5. You're so dumb you think that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are real just because you live in the sewer.

6. You're so ugly you make a blind man look away.

7. You smell so bad you make a man without a nose die.

8. You're so poor I saw you knocking on a trash can, when I asked you what you were doing you said you are locked out.

9.  You're so poor that you lick dirt off your hands and call it leftovers.

10. You're so poor you steal bones from your dog.

11. You're so fat that your tailor is Tanto the tent maker.

12. You're so poor, you have to wrap newspaper around your feet for shoes.

Recent News:

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Magic Eye Inc. under thorough investigation by the FBI after uncovering a possible conspiracy with leading eyeglass and contact manufacturers in the U.S.  It seems that these cute and fun 3D illusions actually cause blindness and other eye disorders.  So next time you are tempted to see what is behind the garble, don't do it or you will end up like Ray Charles or Stevie Wonder.

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